Author: Juliana Francis
Posted to the web: 10/2/2005 9:55:33 PM
Few weeks back, I attended a function where the Commander of Area ‘G’ Mr. Sam Ojehume was lecturing some girls on rape. Many of them hid their faces and giggled, while one asked if she could use any weapon to kill the attacker. What a naïve question! I mean, why would any rapist allow you access to a weapon? It dawned on me that they actually didn’t know or appreciate the magnitude of what rape is all about. I don’t need to have experienced rape to know the emotional trauma and psychological problems that a victim later goes through in life. Believe me, rape is not an incident to gloss or giggle over as a victim. When my friend Bola, told me that three men had once raped her I didn’t believe her. Why? She had a smile on her pretty face. I also considered the fact that Bola has this incredible penchant for telling silly, meaningless lies. If she tells you good morning, better check your timepiece, I bet you the time would be 4pm. If she says stop, dearest, turn Ben Johnson!Several times when I interview girls-teenagers - that’ve been raped, I wonder about the horror and terror they must have gone through during the horrible nightmare of their body being forcefully invaded by someone they never wanted. And there are times; I’ve also asked myself if some cases could actually be called rape. Imagine a young babe keeping quiet after being allegedly raped because the assailant gave her some money. I did a story once at Makinde area of Oshodi, Lagos. She was just a budding teen-ager. The two oranges on her chest must still be premature. Her brother discovered some large sum of money with her. She couldn’t explain how she came to have such amount. The boy gave her the beating of her life. She finally admitted that it was one Baba in the compound that gave it to her after sex. They’ve been doing it for two years! The old man was dragged to the police on a charge of rape. Please tell me dear folks, I’m a little bit confuse here, is that rape? Police call it rape but I see it as a case of consenting partners. Abi no bi money for hand, back for ground be that?Rape is sudden and terrifying. It could happen to children or adults. I prefer to call sexual attack on kids as defilement, not rape. Rape is forced sexual intercourse. When you talk of rape, people immediately have mental vision of a man, forcefully wrestling a babe to the ground to impale her.What an erroneous belief! Men have also been known to be raped. In a well popular institution of higher learning, please don’t ask which, I heard some babes, suspected to be cultists - yes O babes too are into cultism - (they call themselves black bra; red pant and the latest are those calling themselves G-strings babes, another group is called daughters of Jezebel. How a babe sensible babe, can declare herself a daughter of Jezebel beats me) anyway, these babes raped the guy like there was no tomorrow. They were angry with him for always strolling into the girls hostel, like he owns it, even when it was light out. On that fateful day, unknown hands had jumped him from behind and pulled a hound over him. He was dragged into a room filled with naked babes.The deal started. Whether he enjoyed it or not, I can not tell…yes, I didn’t ask. But one-on-one, do you think he enjoyed it? As a guy have you ever being raped? Is it enjoyable? Mail me please, I’m dying to know! Our brother’s strength started ebbing. They were said to have given him milk, raw eggs and other stimulants. Julie doesn’t know. He later fainted and was dumped outside. His friends later found him and carried him to a medicare centre. It has also happened in a girl’s boarding school. Please don’t egg me on or I wouldn’t know when to stop. Rape can occur in your neigbourhood under different situations. The rapist does not care whether you are naked or wearing full-length gown. His goal is to have sex with you whether you accept or not. I don’t subscribe to the idea that it is because a girl is dressed provocatively. Though it had also been known to act as a factor. The rapist may be someone close to you. Rape by someone you know is more likely to happen than with a stranger. The bad thing about rape aside from the psychological problem that comes with the experience is sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/AIDS. How many rapists ever bother with condoms? How are you sure the rapist is not on a misguided revenge mission, spreading HIV? I once heard that a lady under the threat of a rapist knife, calmly told him, ' it’s either you use condom or kill me with that knife…' I find the story hard to swallow. Do you know that when that guy whom you’re nuts over forces you to have sex with him he has committed rape? It is a grievous offence against anybody and should be reported to the police immediately. Before the act can be qualified as rape, one needs to shout. This of course can be pretty difficult if the guy is welding a glittering knife over your defenseless head. Just don’t make it too easy for him. When I say shout, I don’t mean, moaning and groaning, as you spread your thighs further for him to gain proper entrance into your juicy well as he buries his shaft into you. I also heard that some ladies enjoy being raped. To them, the only way to achieve orgasm is when they are raped. Perverts I call them! An incident of rape once destroyed a happy home. I really don’t know whether I have the time to give you folks this gist…hum…did I hear someone say spill it Julie. Okay! A couple was returning from Ibadan when a supposedly broken down car owner in distress flagged them down to assist him to Lagos. They stopped and the son of a bitch whipped out a gun. The nearby bushes took on life as other robbers sneaked out from their hiding places. Not satisfied with dispossessing them of all their valuables, the robbers gave the couple, a devil’s alternative. I will come back to the story later.I guess the best way to avoid rape is to be wary of those you call friends. Even your best friend can plot to have you raped due to some misplaced grievance. Be careful also with strangers. Do not move in dark alleys. I remembered the day a young lady ran out from a cluster of bushes, not too far from Charity bus stop under the pedestrian bridge in Oshodi. She ran across our bus and narrowly escaped being knocked down. The full glare of the headlight caught the scared look on her face. She was as naked as the day she was born! She clutched a tattered remain of her dress in front of her boobs. I’m ashamed to say our driver didn’t stop to help and the passengers only discussed the incident as a normal occurrence. Rape can disrupt a nice relationship. Rape could make a lady avoid sex with her spouse. Avoid taking alcohol especially in parties. It is no longer secret that some bad guys sneak drugs into drinks meant for potential victims. Always lock your doors. Once you are raped, God forbid, but just in case it happens, call or report to the police. I know that it is pretty difficult to open yourself to prying eyes and inquisitive tongue of a strange police officer, but it is the best step to take if you wish to nail the bastard. Rape can make you loose the guy you love. Most guys walk out once they learn their babe was raped. This is bad! This is probably when she needs you the most. Leaving her may forever affect her. Assist her to overcome the shock. I doubt if any Naija babe would walk out on her guy because some group of ladies decided to rape him. Do not bath or wash your vagina after the incident. Try as much as possible to preserve all physical evidences. After police, go for medical examination and treatment. I know you may feel dirty, confused and ashamed but you need your strength to be able to survive the trauma. Above all, remember that rape was never your fault.Back to our story in the bush. The wife was to choose to either witnesses her hubby being shot or subject herself to rape. The couple cried. The wife finally gave in. She was raped under the watchful eyes of her hubby. At home, the man became cold. He refused to sleep with her, eat her food or have a sane discussion with her. Worried, she called a family meeting. There she finally opened the secret of that night. She calls it the ultimate sacrifice. I fervently agree! The angry husband said: 'It’s not the rape that is the problem…She actually enjoyed it! Shame on you! I saw you moaning and raising your hip…. You never acted that way with me! You always lie there like a log of wood'. The wife’s response was even more shattering. “Oti o! I will not listen to this”, whereupon the peace talk degenrated into a heated argument. Pandemonium was let loose. The highly charged wife yelled, 'Is it my fault? Is it my fault they know how to satisfy a woman than you do? I tried not to enjoy it! God knows I tried…'You could have heard a pin drop.